Back to Reality!!!

Hello Reality! I missed you!!! NOT!!! Hahaha. Got back from US a week ago and I must admit, it's been very very very hard to readjust to my original environment. Add the fact that I got badly jetlagged and sick for a week.

Finally I was able to see what the fuss is about, why a lot of people dream of going there. Well, at first I wasn't impressed, especially with the level of superficiality that their culture has. But it growns on you, and I guess it's part of the charm. Everything is so straightforward, and all about improving one's self. Though I'm not sure yet if I'll want to live there for good. But it was a very good experience, and I got to be with a lot of loved ones. ;-)

Now I'm back to my current home. There are a lot of biting realities to face. First of course is the need to get back to office work groove and my impending certification exam. Another one is the job that one of my past colleagues is trying to offer me. Second biggest one is the fact that someone significant from the past will be stepping at my doorstep soon. This is putting me off a bit, and until now I'm still undecided about how I should feel about this. And the most important of all is my application to NZ, my EOI just got selected! Now I'm waiting for the result on whether they will give me the ITA. After this, paperwork mania! I'm quite excited actually. I can't wait to be back together with my sister and family. :D

Well, that's it in a nutshell. Hopefully things will go well in the following weeks. :)

For You

Dear Father,

The inevitable has happened. All circumstances were against us, and we can't fight it anymore. It wore me out, and my heart finally caved in. Unfortunately, I understand why he did what he did. And now it's my turn to act. This time I was the one who finally stepped forward and finally spoke up, somebody had to. We can no longer continue blindly knowing that there's something seriously wrong between us. I've said my goodbyes and am in the process of letting go. He knows the things that I plan to do to move on, we're now patching up before we part ways. Monday we'll see each other, and maybe say our last farewells.

Lord, please help me go through this unscathed. Give me enough courage and strength to pull through alive and still happy. If we're meant to be for each other, please give us a sign. If not, I'll graciously accept what other plans You have for my heart. For whatever You grant me, I'll be thankful.

This I ask in Jesus' name.

Amen

Our Office...

...is really turning into some kind of hell on earth...

Hello there!

Hello my blog! I missed you! Hehehe, I'm currently in a very confused state so I need you right now. I'm confused about so many things, about work, my sorta kinda boyfriend, and why I'm here and not with my family at home. Anyway, I don't want to dwell on the negative. So, I'll just make a bucket list of some of the things that I wanna do while I'm still alive hahaha:

1.) Travel to NZ - done
2.) Travel around Europe
3.) Learn drums
4.) Take swimming lessons
5.) Get married to the person I love most and have kids
6.) Lone travelling - done
7.) Bungy Jump - done
8.) Sky dive

Sunday

Today is Sunday, and it's a cloudy day!!! How ah? How to start this entry lah... :P It's been a rough few weeks at work. Me, Chay, Dax and all my other teammates have been struggling with all of the systems and issues pouring in to our plate. Then, there's our operations going 24/7 and our crappy seating arrangement. Chay and me have requested to move to a more secluded area since we've been having some minor harassment experiences in the office. Our difficult team lead was reluctant to grant the very simple request, and we were quite disappointed because of that. Anyway, I don't wanna dwell on that in this entry.

So all in all, work has been crappy. But somehow, I'm starting to feel better. Not because the situation is improving, but because my mood and outlook is beginning to get brighter. As my guy always says, this is just temporary. It's only work, and we have the type of work that's not really meant to make a person happy, hehe. Which means, I should focus on the more important things, love, friends, my family.

Now, I just pour my energy on one of my favorite hobbies, shopping!!! I'm doing some early christmas shopping for myself, my friends, and family. Great Malaysia Sale is just heaven! I don't even wanna buy things which are 50%, I only buy at 70% off or more hahaha. The sales here don't disappoint. :P

And lately I've been feeling grateful for having someone to share all of my good and bad experiences with. He's made my days more bearable. Talking to him at the end of the day makes me forget all the crappy stuff at work. This is so 8 years ago, but I have to put Dido's Thank You lyrics here, for my happy heart's sake ;-). Can't wait to see you in 3D at home...

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Hope this works :|

I'm a very light sleeper. I can wake up just from my housemate's bathroom's closing door, the vibration of a phone on silent placed on top of a table separate from the bed, even with a very soft skype ping. So here, I searched for some tips to help me cope, especially with our looming 24/7 work hours. Hopefully this will work:

http://hubpages.com/hub/Tips-For-Light-Sleepers

Enough Waiting

I should stop waiting for things that are not coming. This is the absolute deal-breaker. One year is still suffer-able. But two years without any promise, I just can't do it anymore. I need to be strong, for myself and for my future.