So... Nawiwindang na naman ako therefore I have to review my progress to date in relation to my last "Ang mga plano ko" mode entries.
Starting off lightly, I just came back from my vacation. Being the person that I am, I won't pretend that I had a hyper super ecstatic fun time. But I did enjoy the vacation, not as hectic as my previous out-of-town trips. It was a go with the flow type of travel, chillax chillax mode lang. I didn't bother myself with OC-OC itineraries. I just wanted to spend time with my parents and act like their little girl once more, just tagging alongside them on a family trip, listening to my parents and relatives talk about our cool family heritage. So yep, almost five days worth of joyrides by land, sea and air. It was really... I guess nice is the perfect word, high quality type of nice. :)
When we passed by Iligan in Lanao del Norte, I saw the gigantic plants there. And I had to cry, literally. There were various sorts of plants, cement, steel, energy... etc. It hit me really hard, tears were welling up, I couldn't help it. Honestly, at this point I'm not really sure about myself and my willpower. I know how much is at stake if I really go through with my plans. It would really require a high magnitude leap of faith. I'm scared. Pushing through with it will mean risking our family's stability, security and my car. But not pursuing it will leave me forever asking a huge "What if?". I don't know anymore. Right now what my heart feels is this: Sadness and some sort of longing or maybe even envy every time I see those vast areas with gargantuan metal and concrete equipment; and a feeling that I'm spending so much time on something that I have very little passion for.
Ok, feel ko na mag-Tagalog...
Madalas iniisip ko sana sobrang mukha na lang akong pera, edi tapos na sana ang kalituhan ko. Kaso medyo mukhang pera lang ako e. Yung tipong, ok lang naman sa akin hindi ako sobrang makwarta basta masaya naman sa buhay. Pero mahirap talaga yung inaasahan ka ng pamilya, bawal maging makasarili, pag naghirap kasi ako ibig sabihin maghihirap din sila. Saka masaya naman kasi ako tuwing masaya sila kaya kaya pa sa ngayon. Hay, di ko lang alam kung ganito pa din pagkatapos ng isang taon. Dumadami pa naman yung nag-uudyok sa akin na yakapin na ang pagiging inhinyera ko. Sa ngayon, naka-on hold muna pag-enroll ko sa Masters. Tutal binabayaran ko pa naman sasakyan, no hurries baga. Pero pag next sem hindi pa din ako kumilos, aba iba na yon. re-evaluate na naman ulit ng buhay dapat.
Therefore, ayun. Wala pa naman akong masyadong progress sa orig na mga plano ko. Pero may bago akong pinasok, plug ko na din. Natuwa ako ng lubos sa Punong, yung fish pond ng pamilya namin sa province. Ang laki-laki! Alam ko namang 7 hectares siya, pero wala naman kasi akong idea kung ano yung physical na itsura ng pitong ektarya noh. Ayun, mag-i-invest ako dun sa next na cycle. Sana matuloy, sobrang excited ko na nga e!
Good luck good luck na lang. Review ulit ng buhay pag nasa mood. :D
